Early American Valentine's Day Card

From the midst of winter, every February brings with it both the anticipation of a long, sweet spring, as well as the distant thought of the inevitable warm summer day. Unfortunately, for most men, it also brings with it the dread and panic of another Valentine’s Day and the laundry list of apologies soon to follow. I will admit, I am part of this very club.

Yes, I have uttered the words, “Valentine’s Day is nothing more than a scam created by greeting card companies, and thus abstain from participation”. Yes, I have, on occasion, let Valentine’s Day pass without a gift, chocolates and even once, the simple card. My wife knows best that I would rather take a straight right cross to the nose, than to read poetry. I’m not exactly Hallmark material.

But, I vowed this year would be different. Not out of a sense of obligation, but because maybe for the first time, I’ve realized just how truly blessed I am to have her.

So exactly what is the origin of Valentine’s Day? Was it bred from a smoke filled room in the under belly of some multi-billion dollar conglomerate? Well, not exactly. Turns out there are some differing accounts of the true nature of Valentine’s Day. The holiday is named after some of the numerous Early Christian martyrs named Valentine; most notably, Valentine of Rome (Roman priest AD 269) and Valentine of Terni (Bishop of modern Terni AD 197). 1

One legend contends that Valentine was a priest who served during the third century in Rome. When Emperor Claudius II decided that single men made better soldiers than those with wives and families, he outlawed marriage for young men. Valentine defied Claudius and continued to perform marriages for young lovers in secret. When Valentine’s actions were discovered, Claudius ordered that he be put to death.

Until 1969, the Catholic Church recognized eleven separate Saint Valentine days and although martyrdom is certainly not for the faint of heart, it wasn’t until the writings of Geoffrey Chaucer in the late 14th century did the day became associated with romantic love.  In the United States, the first mass produced Valentine wasn’t produced until 1847 and the expanded tradition of gifts didn’t occur until the mid twentieth century. As it turns out, the present day tradition is a more recent phenomenon.

So, in searching a little deeper, I came across this simple quote: “I have learned not to worry about love; but to honor its coming with all my heart.” – Alice Walker

And maybe it was this statement that best summed up my thoughts. It was the word “honor” that caught my eye. I hope she knows I tend to speak more with my eyes, than with my pen. And, in knowing this, I hope she sees my undying commitment to her. The honor that I feel in being by her side. The day is not driven by a gift, but rather by the recognition of the other piece that makes you whole. To honor the struggle you often share and to appreciate the sacrifice that is often given.

Even prior to meeting her at the age of fourteen, it seemed our lives were already intertwined. If statistics hold, Lord willing, by the time we pass on, we will have lived almost three quarters of a century in each others presence.  This is truly the gift she has given me. And in return, my gift to her is to understand how truly lucky I am.

But, just in case I’m wrong, I still bought her a card.